Woman to blogosphere

Like on MTV and the Real World this is me being real with all of you.

I have personally reached a very weird stage in this blog thing.

Being in the profession I am in, being involved in a very tight-nit community that is dialysis I am very much a lone-tech.  I seem to be one of the few dialysis professionals that blog.  I know of two nurses who work in renal that blog, that is it.  Yet, there is an entire list of dialysis patients who do. 

This offers me an overwhelming look at what life is like, it has caused me to ask certain questions to my patients in real-life.  To look at their face before their arms, to lower my voice while speaking with a co-worker, it has given me an inside look at their lives from a more human aspect.  I like that, I really do.  It has however, caused me pause when writing on this blog.

I have written out an entire post and deleted it because I didn’t want to offend a dialysis patient.  I’ve written posts that were straight-forward and to the point and then scapped them because some patients can’t take it.  I am also not saying I think I have that much power with my words to make someone change an emotion.  I just have this fearing of hurting, mine and theirs, so I hold back.

(With the stress of moving, with past-depressive emotions and with nursing school looming I will not allow my blog to further make me anxious.)

I have thought about not writing about dialysis and just making this a nursing school blog, but my whole healthcare career has been wrapped up in Nephrology, I can’t just let that go.  Plus, my school (which shall only be referred to as The School) has certain policies that protect their school curriculum, and frankly that is not something I am going to mess with.  I have also considered just scrapping anything medical and sticking to my personal life, but frankly I am not that interesting.

So, I have decided that I am going to keep talking about my experiences and my ideas in the world of Nephrology.  If I feel that a post will be offensive I am simply going to turn comments off, if you happen to disagree with something I say, I would hope that you talk to me as person, not as of I am someone who is trying to harm you.

I just heard a bunch of “what?” and “uhs” from non-dialysis people and I ask them to visit Ihatedialysis.com at some point in the future.  I know what dialysis patients complain about, I see their points and I have even had comments reflecting the very sterotypical notion that I am just there to make their life miserable.  I resent it, frankly, because I am not one of those techs, I have opinions and I have worked in this business long enough to know certain things.  I have immense respect for dialysis patients, I am an advocate for their health, I wish everyone took it as seriously as some of you do.  I wish everyone could do home hemo or PD, but as of right now, August 2008, it is not possible.

I guess I wish we all can get along and sing happy trails and dance around a dialysis machine, because believe it or not I also have a beef with some of the things that go on in dialysis clinics.  Nothing gets my goat more then when techs jabber in their native tongue right above a patients head, I also think they may be talking about me too.  I also think there are times when the clinic is super cold and when it is super hot, I, however, do not change the temperature of the room to suit my needs. 

If you only knew how many times I reapply deodorant because it is so warm on the clinic floor and I am in a knee length trenchcoat labcoat with a faceshield and mask.  It is freaking hot, those labcoats don’t breathe!

So, I guess to sum it up, I am going to say that this blog is honest and straight-forward, it will be from now on, I am writing as a sort of release for myself.  I am also going to try to not be sterotypical, but I am going to be honest because honestly there are more non-compliant patients then there are compliant. 

That is the nature of chronic hemodialysis.

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~ by Kim on August 25, 2008.

2 Responses to “Woman to blogosphere”

  1. Several of us seem to be having a blog-reevaluation mini-crisis lately. I came to about the same conclusions: I’m going to blog honestly but respectfully. Seems you really can’t go wrong that way.

  2. I just want you to know how much I’ve enjoyed reading your posts… I’m glad to see you’ll continue writing.

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