Flashin’ the undies

I’m sitting quietly in the breakroom at lunch, listening to MTV on the television and eating my chicken and rice leftovers from last night, I’m sharing with a another tech who just turned 19 and very, very naive 19 year old.  He’s a Jehovah’s witness so if you get my drift on the naive part.

A newish secretary comes through the door, she’s about three hours late but we don’t say a word, she is about the craziest person you’ll ever meet.  The day before she told us she was late because she had to service her husband, I was done for the day, after that comment.

She looks exasperated as she wanders in and plops herself in a green hard plastic chair, she’s wearing her typical ankle length skirt and button-up white shirt. 

“I’m sorry I was late,” oh dear lord, not again, “but I lost my underwear and I can’t leave the house without them.”

I choke on my piece of chicken, little bits of rice fly from my mouth as I try to breathe, the laughter is stuck between the chicken and the base of lungs.  I gather myself a moment later, still hacking and trying not to laugh.

“They’re special.” She says.

“Oh,” I mumble, throat sore.

The young tech next to me is shaking with laughter, his face is tomatoe red.

“I lost the patches that go on them.”

Oh, I am gunna lose it, again.

“My smoking patch, my cursing patch, my alcohol patch and caffeine patch.”

Okay, now I am confused.

“We sow them into our undergarments so when we get the temptation to sin we can rub them and pray for strength.”

And then she showed us her Mormon panties, flipped her damn skirt up and showed us her goods.

I am going to miss these people, really, I am.

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~ by Kim on August 20, 2008.

3 Responses to “Flashin’ the undies”

  1. I totally called that one.

    About the second you said that her panties were special.

    I TOTALLY called it 🙂

  2. Depending on where those patches are sewn, it may be counterproductive…

  3. Very funny. I am so glad I wasn’t there!

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