Things don’t bother me as much as they used too.

My nose has come gotten used to the sterilent smell of the clinic in the mornings when things are shut tight.  When I walk into reuse I don’t retch at the smell of congealed blood. 

I don’t bat an eyelash when a patient tells me about his urinary tract.  It doesn’t bother me that every third week of the month I will be measuring urine volume and suctioning it into test tubes. 

I’ve seen toes fall off, I’ve seen aneurysms the size of tennis balls, I half expected them to explode.  I’ve seen people go downhill, I’ve seen people we’ve thought wouldn’t make it one more day last three years. 

But in the end, some days you feel like you haven’t accomplished much, you can’t cure kidney failure. This is the thing that bothers us.  You can raise all the money, you can dialyze as many people in twelve hours, but in the end, it feels like you haven’t done much.

That is why the Dialysis nurse and tech burn out rate is so high.  There are only two ways out of kidney failure. 

You can live a very happy life on dialysis, you can dialyze at home and do all the things you did before.  You can get a transplant and pee to your hearts content. 

But this isn’t always possible. 

So if I look a little sad today it will pass, we take it hard to, you know.


~ by Kim on July 11, 2008.

2 Responses to “”

  1. Very…VERY well said.

  2. I’m sorry that your having a down day. However, you are prolonging lives. You letting mothers, & fathers see their kids grow up. It’s not a cure, but some people want desperately to stay with their loved ones and your helping that come true. And that’s a good thing! ;o)

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