Sleepy Time Tea

I cannot believe I am going to say this but I actually did not have a bad time in Podunk Dialysis Clinic today, it was actually pretty great.

I was a little nervous because texting nurse told me there was a beautiful tech that she didn’t like, and she had never done anything too but Supermodel Tech was mean to her, which I now believe was just texting nurse’s own insecurity. Actually, Supermodel Tech is quite awesome, she is beautiful and amazingly sweet and helpful and breeds pugs, who can’t like someone who raises pugs?

I am just a per diem employee at Podunk and they are in desperate need of people who can stick people’s arms.  So they love me, it’s nice to be appreciated, to be loved, to be asked if I wanted a full-time job, and not ignored.  I kind of heart them now.

I am also a little whinny today, partially because I am dead tired and feeling very lonely and working my ass off. 

I’m missing my Associate Degree graduation which really isn’t all that important,  but not one member of my family has said a word about it, and it kind pisses me off.  It kinda makes me sad, mad and I cried on my way home from work because I worked really hard to get good grades and get into a good nursing school and all I ever hear is how I might fail and then what then?

Oh and I don’t really understand how me leaving the religion I grew up in has anything to do with depression, I am not in a deep hole, MOM.  I simply chose another path, is that so bad?

I have never felt so alone and I have great fear about what lies ahead of me.  I really hope I don’t flunk out of nursing school, I so badly want to be one.  Sigh. 

This whole post has been about me whinning, complaining when really I should be happy, perhaps my mom is right, perhaps I am in the deep hole O’depression.  Or perhaps I am in the midst of a 22 year old moods swings when things are achangin’ in her life.

Yeah, fuck depression. 

I am also freaked out because I’ve fallen down my stairs three times this year already, the last one was sunday morning, scraped up my entire left leg and left my knee feeling crunchy.  And I think I am getting an ulcer and I also feel kinda fat today….

WAAAAAA…..WAAAAA…..WAAAAA 

(I took a detour to Office Depot because since I received new checks in the mail, I thought sweet! Let me be an adult and get a a checkbook cover-wouldn’t it be cute!  Damn you office depot, you claim to be a supplier of all office needs, this is an office need)

I also took this sweet picture of the local NA meeting place (it’s right across from my favorite sushi place, so no I don’t have a addiction- except for maybe sushi.

Kind of ironic since I really do not believe that Jesus saves, at least he hasn’t for me…but whatever, I like the effect.

Oh and this is my new hair color….yippee…

 

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~ by Kim on May 20, 2008.

6 Responses to “Sleepy Time Tea”

  1. She’ll come around eventually. It just takes time for her to accept your choices. My mother is still trying to accept mine.
    Things will improve, time really does heal everything.
    Have you ever seen the movie Saved? The was a cool neon sign like that one in the movie. It’s worth watching.
    🙂

  2. Yeah I know, it will be get better…and I have seen the movie Saved, I loved it!!

  3. Hi! I see you blogrolled me. Maybe I haven’t done you yet, but I will put you in there. So I answered your question about my last post. 😉

    Your picture of the church and the NA meeting reminded me of an experience I had with NA. It is in my Greatest Hits under “From One Addict to Another…” I’m sorry you don’t believe in God. That might change when you are a nurse.

  4. It’s not that I don’t believe in God, it just feels sometimes he doesn’t believe in me.

  5. Okay, now I actually read this whole post. Some of those things DO suck, so you have every right to whine about them on your blog. Or, you could even call me–I’ll listen. Being lonely and depession really suck. I’m going through that right now. I’m sorry your family didn’t congratulate you on your Associates. The fear of failing nursing school will always be there. My first semester teachers liked to hold that over all our heads. They wanted us to have nightmares that we would flunk out. Well, I beat the first semester, but I expect the next three will come with that fear, too. So . . . why are you falling down the stairs? Are they unsafe in some way or do you have some type of vision or nerve problem? (Or are you just taking them too fast?) Ohhh! You are a redhead? That is HOT! Oh, and I hope you get back to your religion. I think it will happen for you when you get older. Anyway, have some tea and feel better.

  6. Scott, regarding the stairs, it’s probably me being a complete clutz or taking them too fast, or the dog pulling, either way, it sucks…and I hear that a lot about nursing school instructors and I am prepared to have the life sucked out of me.

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