No one I know knows I have this blog.  Not the boyfriend, a friend, co-worker or relative.  I am sure if they stumbled upon the blog they could easily figure it out, I mean my five year old picture is below this post and I basically just look the same, only taller and less blonde.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that I feel really free to just say whatever I want here on this blog because I really do not fear retribution.

So when I tell you my trip was great, seeing J was great, spending time with him was great.  Living in Seattle alone, going to school, and working for an entirely new company is going to be really hard.  Sure J will be around, I will be able to see him more, we can definately work on the relationship more and I am sure I will make friends there.

I just feel so powerless.  I saw the university and it was so big and daunting and important looking that I felt like “uhhhhhh”.

I will be leaving the lives of people who are important to me, sure we will still occasionally talk but we all know what happens, eventually we will just stop talking all but once a month.  It’s hard to start one thing knowing you will loose others.

But that is the game we play when we start to grow up.  Yeah, that’s right, I am starting to grow, the first example is my relationship with J.  The other relationships I have been in have been all about, uh, sex then actually getting to know someone.  With this one, we talk first of all, and then we listen to one another.

What a great idea! Haha

J is great, he is sweet, loving, funny and cares about me, me, me and me (I love that you know). 

I guess we shall see where this goes but the only thing I can say is that I really feel like I found my penguin.  Whether it turns into more and we want to spend a good long time with each other or be really good friends, I hope for the first but I can’t see my life without him.

I’ll post some pictures later, when things have settled at the house and the cats aren’t so crazy psychotic.


~ by Kim on April 16, 2008.

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