I do not want to hear it….

Warning: This post is about religion.  If you do not want to hear about religion, or are just tired of my whinning you should perhaps come back tomorrow when I have something less “heavy” to say.  So, I do not want any hateful comments, I respect all other religions, I have no issues if you are Jewish, Muslim, Christian or Atheist.  I am not here to judge you, so you should not judge me.

That being said…..

Last year before I reconnected with boyfriend J I had another boyfriend who was not nice and due to a surgery and some pneumonia I got pregnant (it’s a long story, but antibiotics and The Pill do not mix).  During this time I was also deciding that I no longer wanted to participate in the religion I had grown up in which might not be such a big deal but there are eight other people of the same religion that all work together.

So to wrap this all up without much confussion, I was pregnant while still involved in a religion that does not permit sex outside of marriage and a bunch of religious people were watching my every move.  It didn’t go over well, I made some mistakes they made a few mistakes and basically it all got way out of control. 

I misscarried and was horribly upset which only added fule to the fire, they didn’t like me because I am not shy to basically tell it how it is, I am not ashamed for what happened, we all make mistakes.

They (three of the eight religious peeps) hate me, they have for a while.  The last year has only made it worse.  They proceeded to tell anyone who would listen about all my misdeeds, some being true, some not.  They would tell members of my extended family how awful I was and would absolutely refuse to talk to me if we worked together.

It got so bad that everytime I had to go into the big clinic (48 stations) and work with them I would get anxiety attacks, so bad sometimes that I would vomit all day.  I have anxiety issues but never that bad.  They would tell the other people of the same religion I worked with that I lied about my pregnancy (which horrifies me).  They were constantly harassing me.

They even got the clinical manager involved and since she was friends with them before this she took their side.  It was awful, I felt like I was going to be fired anyday even though I have had no problems with patients or other co-workers, I am very much loved where I work.

Then today, my day off, I was at a feed store getting food for the dog and cats.  I was dressed rather casually but nothing revealing, in fact I had a University of Washington hoody on with camo shorts (in northern California, if the sun is shinning, flip flops and shorts will be seen).  I had two large bags on feed hoisted over my shoulder and as I rounded the corner I heard…

“Did you see Kim, I heard when (insert nurses name) and her went out clubbing she was making out with this guy she didn’t even know, what a slut!”

No Joke.  These ladies are 30 years old.  I am in my early 20s, I don’t bother them, I don’t care what they do outside of work, or inside for that matter.  And no I didn’t make out with anyone that night, especially someone who is not my boyfriend.

So what did I do?

I rounded the corner, dropped the bags of feed and flipped them off and said “leave me the fuck alone.”

Immature?  yes. But it felt good.

I am probably going to hear about it in the morning.  In fact next week when the clinical manager comes back from her beach vacation I will probably be pulled into her office.  But I don’t care.  I can’t take it anymore.

I don’t blame the religion.  I like the religion, most people associated with it are good people.  These people are not, they make the religion look bad not me.  I believe in a higher being, I believe in what was outlined by my religion, but any religion that allows someone else to be tortured because they are going through a hard time is not for me.  At least not here, maybe perhaps in Seattle.

Until then I have to keep telling myself I have four more months to the rest of my life….


~ by Kim on April 8, 2008.

3 Responses to “I do not want to hear it….”

  1. that is a hostile work place and harrassment and is ILLEGAL, california is especially stringent about this. GO TO HR OR YOUR BOSS, you do not have to put up with that.

  2. Don’t let them get you down, stick to your guns and always remember, there is an idiot around every corner!

  3. Very sad that the creepies piled on when you were already dealing with a lot. I love my religion, too, but haven’t participated at the church level in years just because of the creepies. As you say, there aren’t that many of them, but they manage to poison so much and make life unnecessarily harder for others.

    Just found your blog! Got it bookmarked!

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